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thedirtyverseSummer of 1960.
“Well, what am I to do?” Alice asked, swinging her feet beneath her so that her heels bounced off the cabinets below. The kitchen counter was no place for sitting, but Margaret was out for the afternoon. “And I don’t understand her fix with me absolutely not being in the wedding.”
“She hasn’t got a fix, Alice,” Scott muttered around an apple. It was caught between his teeth as he used both hands to search for a knife.
“She’s not letting me, though. It’s not as though you have a dozen sisters. There’s no rule for how many bridesmaids you have. Mum and Dad had loads of people in their wedding!”
“She wants to keep it small, Alice. Plenty of groom-sisters don’t make it into weddings.”
“That isn’t fair for any of us.” Alice looked out the window at the bright day and let her heel bang more resolutely against the wood cabinet. “I’m afraid I can’t like Winifred anymore.”
Scott looked up, knife in hand, though he hardly looked dangerous with an apple in his mouth. “What?”
“She’s a domineering psychopath.”
He pulled the apple out and set it down on a plate. “She’s a domineering psychopath?”
“Yes, exactly. I’m glad you see it, too.” Alice pulled one leg up and sat her chin on her knee. The other continued bouncing off the cabinet door with a rhythmic thudding.
“It’s only the wedding that’s got her all in a strop, Fi. You liked her just fine when we met.”
“I liked her just fine until she cut me off! I got to be in Charlie’s wedding to Ruth and I was only fourteen! That’s practically flower girl age but no, she let me be a bridesmaid. Unlike Winifred, who will probably control you for the rest of her life, by the way. I would get out now. I bet her head would explode if you did. All that work into the wedding. Being bitchy at nearly everyone in London because she’s marrying you—and then she’s bitchy to me! I’m in this family. I guess because I won’t have my surname when I marry, she thinks I don’t count. Well, I’ve got it now and I’m richer than she is and she looks at me all funny and won’t let me be in her wedding!”
“Fi—”
“And you’re my favorite brother! Can’t you do something about this?”
“I’m your favorite brother?”
“As of right now you are.” Alice grinned brightly and watched Scott as he gave up slicing the apple and came over to kiss her head.
“When you get married, you’ll be as stressed out as Freddie is. Perhaps moreso, because you’re a bigger brat.”
“I wouldn’t forbid my husband’s sister from being in my wedding party!” Alice protested. “I haven’t got any sisters. I’ve got Mallory and Vi and they’re the only ones I’d trust not to make a mockery of the whole thing. Not that I’m getting married.”
“Stephen proposed to you, didn’t he?”
“And does it look like I said yes? Does it look like we’re still dating? Does it look like I want anything to do with him? I think he was back on the bottle when he asked me to marry him, anyway.”
Scott burst out laughing. “You’ve got marvelous luck, haven’t you?”
“We’re not changing the subject from your demonic fiancée, thank you.”
Scott ruffled her red hair and went back to slicing his apple. “Is this a ploy to keep me home with you?”
Alice went back to using both heels to kick the cabinet beneath her. “No. I just want to be in your wedding,” she said, picking at her flowered sundress.
“Why don’t you finish your nurse’s training? You know Aunt Anne wants you to follow in her footsteps. And you’d be in London so you could visit me and Freddie.”
“I hate London.”
“You do not.”
“I hate nursing.”
“You loved it the first month.”
“Then we had patients!”
“Mallory and Vi would love you back in that flat.”
“That flat was awful and I never wanted to live there. Neither one of them know how to clean anything properly. And they’ve never had maids!”
“As though you know how to clean,” Scott murmured, smirking. He set the knife in the sink.
“I can so! It’s not something you need instructions to know how to do! But—hang on a minute. This hasn’t got anything to do with my issues. I want to be in the wedding because I am your only sister. I will even wear a suit and be one of your groomsmen, if I am forced.” Scott didn’t doubt her at all, which was why he said nothing.
“Scott!”
“Fi, I really haven’t got any solution for you. It’s her decision who goes in her party!”
“It’s not just her wedding—hasn’t she got a brother or something you could let into your party?”
“Yes, and they are.”
Alice made a loud, indignant noise in protest, something of a screech and a growl. “That’s ridiculous! Winifred’s never spent time with me at all. She always thinks of me as the little sister so that’s what this is all about, isn’t it? She doesn’t want to be seen with me.”
“She should feel honored to be seen with you,” Scott said, “but no, you’re talking nonsense. She has a lot of close friends she wants to be in her party, and I haven’t got as many I want to be in mine. She wants them to be even, so—”
Alice hopped down. “Oh, so this is your fault, is it?” Scott had nearly a foot on his petite sister, but he backed away from her as she advanced on him. “You can’t put more friends in?”
“No! Alice—”
“This is completely unfair! I have a mind not to even come at all!”
By this point, Scott seemed to actually believe that she was bothered by the entire situation, and stopped backing away from her. His face softened, though he frowned, and he folded his arms across his chest. “You have to come to my wedding,” he said. “You’re my sister.”
“Should have mentioned that to Winifred before you let her cut me off, then.”
“When you get married, you can leave me out,” Scott offered, though he didn’t much like the idea.
“I’ll have to, anyway. I’ve got two brothers.”
“Fi.”
“Leave it alone, then. You won’t have to worry, anyway, because the best I’ve done is Stephen, and he was drunk half the time we were together.”
“You know that disturbs me, don’t you?”
“We dated a month, Scott. But I guess so did you and Winifred.”
“I still say you should finish schooling and get out of here. You’re probably going stir-crazy.”
“I am not. I love it here. I couldn’t leave Mum and Daddy.”
Scott leaned against the counter and regarded his sister somewhat skeptically. “You don’t really care about the wedding. This is just about me getting married, isn’t it. You pitched a fit about the dress you had to wear in Charlie’s wedding when I know for a fact that you loved it when Ruth first picked it out.”
Alice frowned and looked at her red-painted toes. “I was only humoring her the first time.”
“Oh, please. No one was more blunt than you were at thirteen.”
“Charlie just didn’t need to move that far away—and he’s been traveling without working for the past six years!”
“And I know you would love to do the same thing. Scoot.”
Scott nudged her and stretched past her to grab his plate. He bit into a slice of apple and nudged Alice’s cheek with his knuckle. “I’ll only be in London. You can visit me as often as you like.”
“Until Freddie gets angry and kicks me out.”
“She wouldn’t.”
“Can’t you stay nearby?”
“I absolutely cannot.”
“Don’t you want to stay nearby?”
“Of course I do, but it’s not practical. I’m working for Dad and I have to be in London. Charlie will be in South Africa.”
“And there’s no place for me, is there?”
“Alice, honestly. You stopped being a teenager three months ago and you’re reverting back to your old habits.”
“I’m not cut out to be an only child!”
“You won’t be here for long. You’ll meet someone who isn’t drunk or stupid and you can kick me out of your wedding and move deeper into the countryside.”
“Still within walking distance of home,” Alice added.
“Still within walking distance of home. Maybe Mum and Dad will retire to another estate and leave this one to you.”
“Not bloody likely.”
Scott stuck an apple wedge between her teeth and she wrinkled her nose and bit down.
“You know we’re not going anywhere forever,” Scott said, giving Alice’s head another kiss. “And you know if anyone gives you trouble, you can still ring us up and we’ll beat him up for you.”
“I can do a good job of that myself, thank you,” Alice said lightly.
“But we like to help. Hey.” Scott reached forward and tugged Alice closer, giving her a very big, very warm, very big brother hug.
“It’s going to be lonely when you go,” she said. “I hate being the youngest. I wish I had a sister.”
“What’s wrong with us?”
“You’re both taller than me and you’re both going to be married and I’m going to be Aunt Alice raising all of your children. I should start getting cats and learn how to be a spinster.”
“It’s absolutely impossible for any woman in this family to be a spinster. You’ll be fighting off men for the rest of your life.”
“Oh, really? When’s that going to start?”
“You’ll notice when I leave.”
“You’ve been fighting them off for me all this time, is that it?”
“Might be. Or there might be bodies buried out in the yard.”
“Why didn’t you do anything to Stephen?”
“I was a fool.”
“He was a fool.”
Scott laughed and let her go. “You should go for a swim in the lake. It’s hot.”
“I guess.”
“Invite your ladies up for the weekend.”
“I’ll be forced to tell them what’s happened to me,” Alice cautioned, tilting her head back so she could see Scott’s face.
“Oh, good Christ. I’ll make sure to stay in London for the next week.”
“They’ll find you, anyway. If they ever take a break from talking about their boss. Every other thing they mention is how they can’t wait to be proper nurses so they can be in close proximity with all the attractive doctors. It’s absolutely pathetic.”
“See,” Scott said, nodding his head at her, “you should have stayed in nursing school. Could have landed yourself a doctor.”
“Well, what am I to do?” Alice asked, swinging her feet beneath her so that her heels bounced off the cabinets below. The kitchen counter was no place for sitting, but Margaret was out for the afternoon. “And I don’t understand her fix with me absolutely not being in the wedding.”
“She hasn’t got a fix, Alice,” Scott muttered around an apple. It was caught between his teeth as he used both hands to search for a knife.
“She’s not letting me, though. It’s not as though you have a dozen sisters. There’s no rule for how many bridesmaids you have. Mum and Dad had loads of people in their wedding!”
“She wants to keep it small, Alice. Plenty of groom-sisters don’t make it into weddings.”
“That isn’t fair for any of us.” Alice looked out the window at the bright day and let her heel bang more resolutely against the wood cabinet. “I’m afraid I can’t like Winifred anymore.”
Scott looked up, knife in hand, though he hardly looked dangerous with an apple in his mouth. “What?”
“She’s a domineering psychopath.”
He pulled the apple out and set it down on a plate. “She’s a domineering psychopath?”
“Yes, exactly. I’m glad you see it, too.” Alice pulled one leg up and sat her chin on her knee. The other continued bouncing off the cabinet door with a rhythmic thudding.
“It’s only the wedding that’s got her all in a strop, Fi. You liked her just fine when we met.”
“I liked her just fine until she cut me off! I got to be in Charlie’s wedding to Ruth and I was only fourteen! That’s practically flower girl age but no, she let me be a bridesmaid. Unlike Winifred, who will probably control you for the rest of her life, by the way. I would get out now. I bet her head would explode if you did. All that work into the wedding. Being bitchy at nearly everyone in London because she’s marrying you—and then she’s bitchy to me! I’m in this family. I guess because I won’t have my surname when I marry, she thinks I don’t count. Well, I’ve got it now and I’m richer than she is and she looks at me all funny and won’t let me be in her wedding!”
“Fi—”
“And you’re my favorite brother! Can’t you do something about this?”
“I’m your favorite brother?”
“As of right now you are.” Alice grinned brightly and watched Scott as he gave up slicing the apple and came over to kiss her head.
“When you get married, you’ll be as stressed out as Freddie is. Perhaps moreso, because you’re a bigger brat.”
“I wouldn’t forbid my husband’s sister from being in my wedding party!” Alice protested. “I haven’t got any sisters. I’ve got Mallory and Vi and they’re the only ones I’d trust not to make a mockery of the whole thing. Not that I’m getting married.”
“Stephen proposed to you, didn’t he?”
“And does it look like I said yes? Does it look like we’re still dating? Does it look like I want anything to do with him? I think he was back on the bottle when he asked me to marry him, anyway.”
Scott burst out laughing. “You’ve got marvelous luck, haven’t you?”
“We’re not changing the subject from your demonic fiancée, thank you.”
Scott ruffled her red hair and went back to slicing his apple. “Is this a ploy to keep me home with you?”
Alice went back to using both heels to kick the cabinet beneath her. “No. I just want to be in your wedding,” she said, picking at her flowered sundress.
“Why don’t you finish your nurse’s training? You know Aunt Anne wants you to follow in her footsteps. And you’d be in London so you could visit me and Freddie.”
“I hate London.”
“You do not.”
“I hate nursing.”
“You loved it the first month.”
“Then we had patients!”
“Mallory and Vi would love you back in that flat.”
“That flat was awful and I never wanted to live there. Neither one of them know how to clean anything properly. And they’ve never had maids!”
“As though you know how to clean,” Scott murmured, smirking. He set the knife in the sink.
“I can so! It’s not something you need instructions to know how to do! But—hang on a minute. This hasn’t got anything to do with my issues. I want to be in the wedding because I am your only sister. I will even wear a suit and be one of your groomsmen, if I am forced.” Scott didn’t doubt her at all, which was why he said nothing.
“Scott!”
“Fi, I really haven’t got any solution for you. It’s her decision who goes in her party!”
“It’s not just her wedding—hasn’t she got a brother or something you could let into your party?”
“Yes, and they are.”
Alice made a loud, indignant noise in protest, something of a screech and a growl. “That’s ridiculous! Winifred’s never spent time with me at all. She always thinks of me as the little sister so that’s what this is all about, isn’t it? She doesn’t want to be seen with me.”
“She should feel honored to be seen with you,” Scott said, “but no, you’re talking nonsense. She has a lot of close friends she wants to be in her party, and I haven’t got as many I want to be in mine. She wants them to be even, so—”
Alice hopped down. “Oh, so this is your fault, is it?” Scott had nearly a foot on his petite sister, but he backed away from her as she advanced on him. “You can’t put more friends in?”
“No! Alice—”
“This is completely unfair! I have a mind not to even come at all!”
By this point, Scott seemed to actually believe that she was bothered by the entire situation, and stopped backing away from her. His face softened, though he frowned, and he folded his arms across his chest. “You have to come to my wedding,” he said. “You’re my sister.”
“Should have mentioned that to Winifred before you let her cut me off, then.”
“When you get married, you can leave me out,” Scott offered, though he didn’t much like the idea.
“I’ll have to, anyway. I’ve got two brothers.”
“Fi.”
“Leave it alone, then. You won’t have to worry, anyway, because the best I’ve done is Stephen, and he was drunk half the time we were together.”
“You know that disturbs me, don’t you?”
“We dated a month, Scott. But I guess so did you and Winifred.”
“I still say you should finish schooling and get out of here. You’re probably going stir-crazy.”
“I am not. I love it here. I couldn’t leave Mum and Daddy.”
Scott leaned against the counter and regarded his sister somewhat skeptically. “You don’t really care about the wedding. This is just about me getting married, isn’t it. You pitched a fit about the dress you had to wear in Charlie’s wedding when I know for a fact that you loved it when Ruth first picked it out.”
Alice frowned and looked at her red-painted toes. “I was only humoring her the first time.”
“Oh, please. No one was more blunt than you were at thirteen.”
“Charlie just didn’t need to move that far away—and he’s been traveling without working for the past six years!”
“And I know you would love to do the same thing. Scoot.”
Scott nudged her and stretched past her to grab his plate. He bit into a slice of apple and nudged Alice’s cheek with his knuckle. “I’ll only be in London. You can visit me as often as you like.”
“Until Freddie gets angry and kicks me out.”
“She wouldn’t.”
“Can’t you stay nearby?”
“I absolutely cannot.”
“Don’t you want to stay nearby?”
“Of course I do, but it’s not practical. I’m working for Dad and I have to be in London. Charlie will be in South Africa.”
“And there’s no place for me, is there?”
“Alice, honestly. You stopped being a teenager three months ago and you’re reverting back to your old habits.”
“I’m not cut out to be an only child!”
“You won’t be here for long. You’ll meet someone who isn’t drunk or stupid and you can kick me out of your wedding and move deeper into the countryside.”
“Still within walking distance of home,” Alice added.
“Still within walking distance of home. Maybe Mum and Dad will retire to another estate and leave this one to you.”
“Not bloody likely.”
Scott stuck an apple wedge between her teeth and she wrinkled her nose and bit down.
“You know we’re not going anywhere forever,” Scott said, giving Alice’s head another kiss. “And you know if anyone gives you trouble, you can still ring us up and we’ll beat him up for you.”
“I can do a good job of that myself, thank you,” Alice said lightly.
“But we like to help. Hey.” Scott reached forward and tugged Alice closer, giving her a very big, very warm, very big brother hug.
“It’s going to be lonely when you go,” she said. “I hate being the youngest. I wish I had a sister.”
“What’s wrong with us?”
“You’re both taller than me and you’re both going to be married and I’m going to be Aunt Alice raising all of your children. I should start getting cats and learn how to be a spinster.”
“It’s absolutely impossible for any woman in this family to be a spinster. You’ll be fighting off men for the rest of your life.”
“Oh, really? When’s that going to start?”
“You’ll notice when I leave.”
“You’ve been fighting them off for me all this time, is that it?”
“Might be. Or there might be bodies buried out in the yard.”
“Why didn’t you do anything to Stephen?”
“I was a fool.”
“He was a fool.”
Scott laughed and let her go. “You should go for a swim in the lake. It’s hot.”
“I guess.”
“Invite your ladies up for the weekend.”
“I’ll be forced to tell them what’s happened to me,” Alice cautioned, tilting her head back so she could see Scott’s face.
“Oh, good Christ. I’ll make sure to stay in London for the next week.”
“They’ll find you, anyway. If they ever take a break from talking about their boss. Every other thing they mention is how they can’t wait to be proper nurses so they can be in close proximity with all the attractive doctors. It’s absolutely pathetic.”
“See,” Scott said, nodding his head at her, “you should have stayed in nursing school. Could have landed yourself a doctor.”
